Owning your life – Three simple steps to authenticity
In
a world where people are used to, that almost nothing is the way it looks like,
where fake news rule and everyone is wearing a “mask” to get along, the longing
for authenticity becomes bigger and bigger day by day. But where can one find
what has become so rare, what can we do to not completely lose our trust in a
world that seems to be upside down and craziness is running rampant? But, wait
a minute – is that really the right question? Does it really help to look for
something we crave for in the outside world, in a world we cannot control and
who’s offerings can be lost easily from one moment to the next? Wouldn’t that
mean to become dependent on outside forces and to turn our life into a
harzardous game?
So, what
if you go for another approch? One where the locus of control lies in your own
hands, where you are not prone to the ever changing circumstances of what is
going on around us? There is a simple, yet profound way, of approching every
single situation in live, so that you stay strong and are the master of your
life. It is a three-step-process, which consists of the following elements:
STEP 1: ANSWER TWO BASIC QUESTIONS:
A.)
What do I really want?
B.)
Why do I want it?
You will
never be the “captain of your ship”, as long as you have no clue of what you
want and where you are going to. Having cleared your mission and your goals in
life, which in itself can be a quite long and hard process, you can break them
down to the smallest details of your life, so that in any given situation you
can find out what it is that your really want. It is important to find out
which are the things you want yourself, not your family, your boss, your
friends, neighbours etc., it must be your authentic goals. Most likely it will
be necessary to separate yourself from others for a certain time to find out
what that really is and it may be a painful process in which you will have to
strip away a lot of false convictions and ideas you had over a long period of
time – maybe even decades. In the end you will come up with some profound ideas
that are actually yours.
Knowing
what you want is good, but it is not enough. To genuinly own you life you also
have to know WHY you want, what you want. Having investigated what you
really want in life has probably already given you ideas about your true
motives and following this path a little further can give you an even stronger
fundament from which you can operate. The more you are used to answer these two
elementary questions, the easier it will get to orientate yourself in everyday
life.
STEP 2: DECIDE AND CONSCIOUSLY DO
WHAT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO
The
next step is to be determined, to come to a solid resolution. Knowing what you
want and why you want it must be driven by energy, by the power to put into
practice what so far you have only imagined in your mind. And here comes the
big difference to most action people know in their life: Be totally aware of
what you do during the whole process of doing it! Sounds not very difficult,
but acutally it is, expecially in a world where a great many of people suffer
from a mild version of ADHD, due to modern lifestyle, media, technology and
thelike. Only if your mind is completely present during whatever you do, you
really own the action. If your mind is destracted and only partially aware of
what your are doing and what presents itsefl right in front of your eyes, the
action will not be “yours” and that means you do not fully own this part and
spent time of your life. The time you are not aware of is a time wasted. Presence
of mind is the secret to a fulfilled life, a life you actually own! Time is
the raw material we build our life of the “thread we weave our life of”. The
more time we waste and throw away without, the less we have left to turn it
into the masterpiece which could be our life.
STEP 3: LIVE WITHOUT DOUBT AND
REGRET
After
you have mastered step 1 and step 2 this one oftentimes is the logical
consequence thereof, but not always. Doing what you do with full awareness will
take away most of the doubt one may have when acting. Make it a habit to take
in informations before you make a decision. Then process the informations and
come up with a solution, but never question your descision after it has been
made and you are in the process of execution. That is absolutely devastating.
There is a time for collecting informations, a time for debate and arguing, but
there must come the time where the door for such things must be closed and
action without doubt is everything that is allowed to remain.
We
all have an ideal outcome of our actions in mind and we all wish that things
turn out in our favour, but to be honest nobody has such power such control
over the world that outcomes could be totally guaranteed. You can do everything
right and nevertheless not get what you want, the world is far to complex and
human abilities way to limited to know any outcome with certainty. Therefore
never tie your destiny, your well-being and definitely not your happiness to
any outcome of any kind. Don’t strive for an outcome for that means to deliver
yourself to outside forces you don’t control. Never be dependent on things
turning out a certain way. Then you are free, you consciously did what you
could do, the rest doesn’t lie in your hands and what ever may come, may come
and will not touch you at all. If you can master this, you will always live
without regrets, for the question “what would have been, if...” will be a mere
absurdity to you.
I
hope I could be of help with my three-step-process of owning your life. It was
a game changer for me and for many others. It will take practice and setbacks
are to be expected on the way but the price is small compared to the benefits
that await you on the “other side”.
Yours
Oliver Maerk
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